Americans = Fat

I'm just stating fact here, c'mon

Good Rockin' Charles - Goin Home

Chico Chism - 480 Pounds

During my last few days of being over in Europe, I began to dread coming home. There's a lot of reasons why I wasn't looking forward to coming home, but one of the more light-hearted ones was going home to be among my fat fellow Americans. Before any of my huskier readers becomes offended, please realize that I'm just stating fact: we are a culture of overweight people.

This was my third trip to Europe and when I get back, without fail, I get asked about how many hotties I met/hooked up with. Without going against my stance on kissing and telling, I will say that the the ratio of hotties to notties is clearly in favor of the Europeans. So many hotties that I was getting whiplash on an hourly basis from all the double-takes. I'm no statistician, but my mathematical brain pointed me to one simple conclusion: The number of fatties in a given country is inversely proportional to the number of hotties. For those people who are confused by the terms "inversely" and "proportional", I'll put it in lay terms: The more skinny people in a given population, the more hotties you're gonna meet. Sounds obvious enough, right? Well, the difference is striking. Not profound, but striking. In fact, it struck me as yet another reason why I love to travel. The easiest way to spot Americans abroad: look for a group of portly people. With fanny packs. And baseball caps.

But, I digress. One song that kept bouncing around in my head during my last few days over there, while I was ogling all the beautiful women around me, was Good Rockin' Charles "Goin Home". Ol Good Rockin' Charles makes no bones about the fact that he likes women with some meat on their bones. And, to that end, he makes it clear that he's going home to get him some. Good Rockin' Charles has only one eponymously named album listed on Amazon.com and this song isn't on it. So, I'd like to think this song is pretty rare. It's from a vinyl compilation album I have called "American Blues '79". It's one of the first records I ever bought and I got it mainly for the cover. It turned out to be a fantastic find. Interestingly, Good Rockin' isn't the only musician on the album to extol the virtues of fatness. A few songs earlier on the same side of the record, Chico Chism tells all about his "biggy fatty mama" who tips the scales at 480 lbs while still managing to rock him all night long. I'll leave it up to the blogosphere to discuss the stereotype of black guys and overweight women. I think these songs, and Mr. Chism in particular, speak for themselves.

--keep holding and maybe tomorrow I'll tell you all about the "typical koopa" moment that occurred early on in my trip. It requires all my mental faculties to tell it in complete detail. You'll be glad I waited...