READ ALL ABOUT IT: ALIENS LAND NEAR KOOPA'S HIDEAWAY AND DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT IS THE MOST AMAZING RAP SONG OF ALL TIME!!!

we come in peace 

Latyrx - Latyrx

Blackalicious - Alphabet Aerobics

Let’s imagine that some aliens land on earth and they come knocking on the door of the Hideaway. Let’s also imagine that they demand me to immediately name the most amazing rap song of all time. A weird request from aliens from another planet, yes, but I was a cub scout for a month and a half (just long enough for me to lose the pine derby and for my parents to find out our leader smoked cigarettes in front of us) and I believe in being prepared for just such an occasion. First, I would beg and plead to be allowed two choices instead of one. Once granted that request, I would politely drop the following knowledge the on them: Latyrx’s “Latyrx” and Blackalicious’ “Alphabet Aerobics” are without a doubt the most mind-blowingly amazing rap songs of all time. They’re not party rockers per se and they’re not incredibly profound from a social consciousness standpoint, but aliens wouldn’t care about those things, right? These two tracks are both brilliantly conceived ideas that are executed perfectly to a sublime outcome. “Latyrx” has “Lat”eef and L“yrics” Born bobbing and weaving around each others rhymes and fitting in lyrical jabs. They rap over top of each other, but in a good way. One could spend hours trying to dissect what they are saying in this song. I’ve heard a buttload of rap songs of all different shapes and sizes and I’ve never heard anything remotely like this. Hearing this song back in ’98, I thought that all underground rap was going to be this fresh. I would soon find out that it is not. Blackalicious' “Alphabet Aerobics” track is a trip through the alphabet rhyming with each letter and speeding up as he goes through them. The aliens would dig this song because they could learn our alphabet. A two birds, one stone type thing. Produced by my man Cut Chemist, I think this track is gonna be the encore of Friday night’s show at the Patio (according to the set list I saw).

Are you prepared to answer the question of the most amazing rap song of all time if aliens come to your door? These are the things I think about when I should be working...like right now...